Write for The Weight of the World
Hello Dear One,
Well, that was quite a week. Perhaps you had days where everything felt unbelievably heavy. I was furious, sorrowful and, at times, defeated. I also felt happy, content, loved and blessed. We can experience many things in a short space of time. As if to prove this I sliced the top of my thumb with a kitchen knife and find myself back from A & E, bandaged up. The thumb, it seems, will survive.
Although I’m not the best person to ask for cooking tips, I do have a few things to share about how I’m coping.
First, I never say things like ‘pull yourself together’ ‘for heaven’s sake’ or ‘man up’ to myself. Those, even if we’ve heard them before from people we love, are mean. Instead, I let myself do nothing. I lie down until I feel better. I reach out to people who will just sit with me.
Our nervous systems don’t know what to do right now, we’re overwhelmed. There has been so much change and heartache this year, plus constant adjustments to how we live and support ourselves. So, it’s ok not to know how you are and its also ok if it changes very quickly. It’s fine to lie on the floor for a little while, or a long time. It is fully acceptable to take time for yourself, even if others need you. Maybe even especially if they do. We can’t give from a place of depletion and emptiness. And if you’re in the thick of it - with responsibilities which literally won’t wait - make time for your feelings later. Write them out last thing at night, go for a run, hit some pillows. Feel it all. Then, invite in your old pal: perspective.
I hope it helps. And a note on the last part - please don’t think I’m telling you to plaster on a smile and pretend everything’s dandy. I once inadvertently ended up in a laughter yoga class and was surprised at how, even when I didn’t feel like it, it brought release. This, it turns out, is scientific:
“The muscles used to make a smile actually send a biochemical message to our nervous system that it is safe to relax the flight or freeze response.” Tara Brach (Radical Acceptance)
As empathetic beings it’s natural to feel guilty about finding joy when life is difficult, but also so necessary. Every day of your life belongs to you. You don’t need to go around in a heightened state. Let go of what isn’t yours to carry and move forward from there. Ground yourself in writing, breath and the beauty of the world. Action from a place of reactivity and fear will always be less effective. You CAN relax. In this moment. Remind yourself.
All love,
Jo
WORKSHOPS
One week today - Tuesday 23rd March - I’m running my next drop-in workshop: one hour of sweet-self care with guided exercises set to a relaxed and uplifting playlist. It’s open to all, whether you journal regularly or haven’t picked up a pen for years. This is writing for you and nothing needs to be shared.
£10/£7 concessions, via Zoom. To book just reply to this email and I’ll send you the details. (It marks one year from the beginning of lockdown here in the UK, if you can’t join me make a note to take extra good care of yourself)
There’s also still time to book the movement and writing day retreat on the 27th of March, just go here.
AND FINALLY…
If you find these letters helpful please consider sharing them, either with friends or by posting online. It really does help other people discover them.